Authentic Leadership: Showing Up Honestly and Creating a Trusting Environment

Kelly Smith drew from her aviation experience to develop the Four Forces of Behavior model, which she presented at the 2023 COE Summit. During Kelly’s breakout session, participants were inspired to identify the forces of their own behavior in order to avoid professional landmines and achieve leadership goals. In this blog, Kelly addresses questions inspired by the stories and strategies shared in her Summit breakout session.

How can I show up more authentically and honestly as a leader?

Be honest about who you are. We are taught so many theories and principles about how to be a great leader. But in my experience, the reality is that we are who we are—the more we try to fit what we think we should be, the less it works.

I am in no way denying the importance of leadership theories and teachings, as they help us be better versions of ourselves. Part of being honest about who you are is also deciding how much and when you share your experience, details about yourself and how you offer support. It does not mean you have to share the same details as your peers or your leaders. Each of us needs to find the balance that works for us. 

The caveat is that what works for you might not work for your team, either as a whole or individually. Some of your team members or peers may not need or want as much of your authentic self, so you have to be willing to watch for those cues and adjust.

Some one-on-ones with my team consist of talking for 55 minutes about our families and life outside of work and five minutes about what they are working on. Others are 60 minutes of intense work discussion and planning. Neither approach is wrong because it is what is best for the team member. 

The same applies for you when you meet with your leader—if you like to talk about only work, tell them that. If your personal life is a common part of your conversation, let it be.

The more honest you are, you may find you are not in the right role or organization, so be prepared to learn and adapt as you go. It is okay to adjust to ensure you are in the best place. Do not change to fit a role. 

How can I create a more trusting environment within my team?

The most effective way to create a more trusting environment is to show your team what it looks like with real examples. Share struggles with them. Be honest about what you talk to your peers and boss about and show them what it looks like to grow through trust.

Most people understandably roll their eyes when they are told they can trust their boss or teammates, as we are trained to worry and protect ourselves. You have to show them how to let down their guard.

When I was dealing with a medical issue recently, for example, I was very open with my team and my boss and asked for their support. As it progressed, I shared updates and thanked them for their kindness. It did a couple of things for us as a group: it made them feel even more secure telling me about their personal struggles, it gave them an opportunity to show me who they are, and it showed them that I really believe what I am telling them. 

Another example is that I tell my team I am proud of their work as often as I can get away with it. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. We, as leaders, only have so many levers we can pull regarding compensation and promotions, but we can supply our teams with unlimited support. I make sure my team feels appreciated, seen and heard, which goes a long way in showing them I’m paying attention.

If my team knows I will tell them when they are doing well, they also know I will come to them if they are not. This provides assurance that there will not be any sudden surprises around their job security. When my team feels secure in their roles, they also feel more comfortable throwing out ideas that might be outside the box. They become more creative and more energized, which is good for everyone.

When situations feel out of control at work (or in life), what practices do you do to establish a sense of control and direction? 

I lean on my “pick-me-ups” and natural strengths. I talk to my family or a mentor depending on the situation, and then come up with a plan. I have always been a planner and preparer. I take a change of clothes to the park in case it rains, I pack an extra outfit for a trip in case I spill something, I have a budget spreadsheet that goes out for the next three years—you get the idea.

When I feel like spiraling, I use a checklist of what I can do to regain control of the situation. The best option is for you to determine what belongs on your checklist. What steps do you need to take to feel the control you need and to determine the best direction to move? To do that, you first need to figure out how to regroup or gather yourself. At the most basic level, my approach to everything is to plan, regroup and plan again—especially when things feel out of control.  

If you missed Kelly Smith’s breakout session on the Four Forces of Behavior at the 2023 COE Summit, a full recording is available in our members-only Digital Content Archive. Don't have an account yet? Create an account.