To Judge or Not to Judge

Passing judgment is an inborn survival mechanism that helps humans discern bad from good, friend from foe, moral versus immoral. As a helpful and necessary part of life, we make judgments on a daily basis to help us navigate, interact with, and make sense of our lives and surroundings. Yet, the line between making a judgment and judging can be blurry at times. As a leader, how does one balance this paradox of judging something without being judgmental? Is the directive “do not judge others” not a judgment itself?

Judgment refers to “the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing” (Merriam-Webster, n.d.); it is a process underpinned by knowledge, experience, data, assessment, analysis, and objectivity. For example, saying “That individual has limited English skills” is an observation based on discernment. In contrast, judging someone or something is inherently associated with morality, leading to inferences being made about behavior or characteristics, such as, “That individual has limited English skills; therefore they mustn’t be very intelligent.” What we mistakenly deem as making a judgment easily has the capacity to dissolve into finding fault or making assumptions, both tools used to divide and separate. Likewise, the way we judge ourselves is how we judge others; thus, we assume others judge us the same. Yet, we know this not to be true. As a leader, knowing the difference between using judgment to discern or to evaluate something versus passing a judgment or being judgmental can impact how decisions are made and how effective the results are.

Differentiating between judgment and judging involves understanding the intention of the statement or speaker. Is this gossip? Does this statement indicate an intolerance, or being over-critical of someone or something? Is this statement related to a previous negative experience with this individual or situation? Likewise, the act of judging others offers insight into the mindset and worldview of the speaker, often indicating a narrowed perspective and a lack of objectivity. As a leader, it is important to gain an awareness of our own behaviors, being intentional about noticing our thoughts. Humans can be quick to pass judgment on others, but rarely do we turn the lens inward to dissect our own behaviors or thinking. Engaging in reflexive dialogue to uncover any assumptions held or biases first can help discern between a judgment or judging (Avolio, Walumbwa, & Weber, 2009).

Interestingly, judging others is also bad for health. Aside from the harm inflicted by hurtful comments on the recipient, passing judgment on others can also negatively impact the speaker as well. In doing so, the mind is trained to focus only on the negative aspects of an individual or situation, such as certain characteristics or behaviors deemed as ‘inappropriate’ or ‘unacceptable’. As a result, we often unknowingly start to become more critical of ourselves as well, which, over time, raises individual stress levels, thus negatively impacting overall health (Kross & Grossmann, 2012). And all that over spreading gossip? No thank you.

While it isn’t possible to avoid judging others 100% of the time, it is important to remember that as leaders, embracing curiosity, empathy, and self-compassion are important as this opens the opportunity that there is more to learn about a situation or individual. Consistently practicing these involves self-discipline, emotional intelligence, and humility. Emotional intelligence, in particular, is crucial as it helps leaders manage their own emotions and better understand the emotions of others, fostering a more empathetic and supportive leadership style (Goleman, 1995). Who doesn’t want a leader like that?

References:

1. Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Judgment. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved January 4, 2023, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/judgment
2. Avolio, B. J., Walumbwa, F. O., & Weber, T. J. (2009). Leadership: Current Theories, Research, and Future Directions. Annual Review of Psychology, 60, 421-449. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.60.110707.163621
3. Kross, E., & Grossmann, I. (2012). Boosting Wisdom: Distance From the Self Enhances Wise Reasoning, Attitudes, and Behavior. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 141(1), 43-48. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0024158
4. Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence. Bantam Books.