Balancing optimism with toxic positivity: When looking on the bright side becomes too much

A healthy dose of hopeful optimism is a good thing. In fact, the Mayo Clinic (2023) promotes positive thinking, a precursor to optimism, as being good for your overall health and well-being. Positive thinking is also a key part of stress management. But what happens when the pendulum of positive thinking swings too far in the other direction?

The many health benefits of positive thinking, such as living longer, lower rates of depression, better cardiovascular health, and a decreased risk of certain chronic illnesses, are well recorded (Mayo Clinic, 2023). The research is clear: optimists live longer and happier lives (Carver et al., 2010). However, life isn’t always positive, and maintaining an optimistic outlook doesn’t solve every issue. Positivity becomes toxic when it results in someone avoiding or silencing their emotions, rejecting the expression of negative emotions in general (Forbes Health, 2023). This results in the denial of the support that one needs in navigating difficult situations and may prevent someone from reaching out for help altogether (Cherry & Goldman, 2024).

While toxic positivity is often delivered by those with good intentions, forcing a cheerful front does neither yourself nor others any favors. Examples, such as telling someone who has faced a recent loss that “everything happens for a reason,” or that “you’ll be OK” are easy responses to offer, serving as avoidance mechanisms employed to dodge uncomfortable or emotional conversations (Cherry & Goldman, 2024). In reality, toxic positivity leaves everyone feeling worse about things, promoting self-blame and diminishing self-worth in one party, and feelings of guilt in the other (Cherry & Goldman, 2024; Forbes Health, 2023).

Further, Kelly (2023) discusses how this can negatively impact workplace productivity, promote a culture of inauthenticity, as well as limiting one’s ability to learn and understand information (Forbes Health, 2023). Research on leadership emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence and authentic leadership styles in fostering healthy work environments (Goleman, 2000; Avolio & Gardner, 2005).

The signs of toxic behaviors can be subtle, such as brushing problems off instead of facing them head-on, “matching” someone’s story with another, worse one, or minimizing the feelings of others because it may be uncomfortable for you (Forbes Health, 2023). As a leader, it is important to examine your own approach to dealing with difficult situations and to normalize “not being OK.” Instead of making assumptions about what someone needs when they approach you for help, ask them; sometimes they just need to be heard (Nielsen & Daniels, 2012). Finally, know that your role as a leader can sometimes involve being a witness to someone’s issues rather than trying to fix them (Forbes Health, 2023).

References 

Avolio, B. J., & Gardner, W. L. (2005). Authentic leadership development: Getting to the root of positive forms of leadership. *The Leadership Quarterly, 16*(3), 315-338.

Carver, C. S., Scheier, M. F., & Segerstrom, S. C. (2010). Optimism. *Clinical Psychology Review, 30*(7), 879-889.

Cherry, K., & Goldman, R. (2024). Why Toxic Positivity Can Be Harmful. Toxic Positivity: Why It's Harmful, What to Say Instead (verywellmind.com).

Forbes Health. (2023). Toxic Positivity: Definition, Examples and What To Say Instead. https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/toxic-positivity/

Goleman, D. (2000). Leadership that gets results. *Harvard Business Review, 78*(2), 78-90.

Kelly, J. (2023).  The Negative Impacts of Toxic Positivity in the Workplace. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackkelly/2023/07/17/the-negative-impact-of-toxic-positivity-in-the-workplace/

Mayo Clinic. (2023). Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950

Nielsen, K., & Daniels, K. (2012). Does shared and differentiated transformational leadership predict followers' working conditions and well-being? *The Leadership Quarterly, 23*(3), 383-397.