Written by: Seth Myers
** Pre-blog disclaimer: Even though the following material contains tales of distraction and non-work related incidents, I am genuinely completing projects and learning a lot of transferable skills! We will get to the projects once they fully mature. **
General Rules of the Office:
1.) When challenged to a competition, accept the challenge. To insure that employees keep their word, make sure that it’s in writing (ink or blood). If you win the challenge, you get a lot of “street” credit in the office. Should you happen to lose, you’re still the worthless intern and life goes on.
- Challenge: JPMorgan Corporate Challenge (Running Race)
-Location: Central Park
-Distance: 3.5 Miles
- Details: 30,000 employees from multiple companies all over NYC
- Wager: I win – Cocky and arrogant former tennis player from Emory puts anything I want as his desktop background for the entire summer. I lose - I must call him by an official title (Master, Sir, Your Highness… you get the point) for the remainder of the summer.
** Outcome: Look at the picture… Enough said. If you have any other desktop background ideas, I would love to hear them. I can change his background any and every day. Poor, poor fellow. Fortunately, I won the race; however, now he challenges me to all sorts of random competitions to try to regain his pride. **
2.) Avoid obtaining any sort of balls, toys, fun gadgets… I don’t know about you, but I am easily distracted. Somehow, I ended up with 3 “Duff & Phelps” juggling balls. Now, not only am I always fiddling with them, but also I have also managed to acquire other balls for my collection (D&P football, stress ball, plastic golf ball). Additionally, some employees find it funny to occasionally hide the balls through out my cube. This poses two problems: I’ve lost members of my ball family and I spend precious time searching for my long lost toys.
3.) Never leave your computer unattended without locking it… Sensible reasoning: Who knows what confidential material may lay open for others to see. More accurate reasoning: People love to mess with the intern!When first asked where I’m from and I respond Ohio State, most people say, “Wanna hear a funny joke? How do you get an OSU student off of your porch? You pay for the pizza!” Let’s just say that some people don’t fully understand how good of a school OSU really is. No, I don’t live on a farm, I don’t drive a tractor, and I don’t go to church every single day, but thank you for asking!
In short, walking away from your unlocked computer can easily lead to situations like the one on the left. Most people don’t even know where Ohio is located, but somehow they all know about the rivalry. If I have to define a buckeye one more time, I might go crazy! Non-midwesterners just don’t get it.