Work started off rough this morning. There were a lot of things to deal with this morning and it was incredibly frustrating. I immediately thought about my children and what behavior I would demonstrate in front of them to handle the situation if they were watching me. First step was to listen and absorb. The next step was to respond. I went back to the office and typed up an e-mail to my superiors stating the issues and the steps to address it. I then followed through. To my surprise, I got no response back from anyone. I was very grateful, because it was my superior’s way of saying. Good job, I have no feedback for you! The end of the day brought resolution to the issues of the morning and actually a positive spin on things.
I got lined up with my third team (one for each class I am in). We debated how to divide up the responsibilities and some peripheral chats about scheduling. It’s a great opportunity to learn how to work as a group and also a great opportunity to quickly adjust to different people and their perspectives. I have really taken it to heart that other people have great insights into issues. The lectures definitely have a “higher level” feel to them. Most of these classes we actually are discussing points together. There of course is always the nice feeling we get when we make the big point, but there is now something deeper. Listening to others and absorbing their thoughts into yours. The focus for me is beginning to shift from the “I have a great idea” philosophy into the idea “what can I say that will help everyone think about this in a new way.”
In the three plus years of being a father, tonight was the first night that I did not get to kiss my kids goodnight. On the one hand I am deeply saddened. On the other hand, I am doing my job as a father by working hard to make our lives better. This kind of situation is awful, but I know that when I hold them next, I get to savor that moment a little bit more than usual.