The OSU parking lot is not a demolition derby…

From everyone else’s blogs, I think you get the idea that it’s been a busy, hectic, stressful week. Spring break felt far too short, and getting back into the familiar groove of graduate school has been rough for most of us this week. Instead of telling you about this, I thought I’d share a story that’s equal parts tragedy, drama, comedy, and romance. What kind of story could this be? Well, it’s the story of how my car got hit in the demolition derby OSU parking lot this evening.


As I left Gerlach Hall and walked towards my parked car, I saw another vehicle pull into a parking spot next to my car (allegedly). Unfortunately, this individual cut their steering wheel a little too soon and misjudged the parking space- I heard their car scrape against mine as it moved into the open parking spot (allegedly). Afraid of the damage that they had just caused, the other driver accomplished all of the following activities before I reached my car: got out and inspected the damage on the two cars, took a package of wet wipes out of their car, wiped down the side of their car now that had my car’s paint streaked on it, looked at me, ignored me when I said “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!”, and then walked away (exit alleged offender).

The damage is not major, my car is still drivable- but the lovely new car that I haven’t even had for a year now has scratches, a tiny dent, and some paint transferred across it. How great. Apparently this is what life is like when you are an adult- I turned 23 yesterday.


I then proceeded to call the most intelligent and trustworthy person I know- my dad. He advised me to call the campus police and report it. So I dialed the telephone number for OSU Transportation and Parking Services and told them that there had been an accident; within 5 minutes two officers arrived at the scene (enter  2 Transportation and Parking Services officers). I told them what had happened (allegedly), wrote a statement about the events that I witnessed, showed them the damage, and filled out some brief paperwork. While inspecting the damage on my car and on the offending vehicle (wet wipes don’t erase everything!), one of the officers noticed that the parking tag hanging from their rear view mirror looked a bit strange. A bit fake, if you will (enter 3rd Parking Services officer).


After a bit of investigation, the officer determined that the parking pass in the vehicle of the alleged offender was fraudulent. He proceeded to explain to me that a certain number of students try to use fake parking passes instead of purchasing legitimate passes- but it’s only a matter of time before they get caught. The penalty for a car that is displaying a fraudulent parking pass? Towing to the nearest impound lot.


The temperature was hovering near 30 degrees, I was tired and wanted to go home, and the incident in the parking lot was not what I had in mind as I left Gerlach Hall this evening. But the officers came to the scene in hardly any time at all, were so friendly and helpful, and made my day when the truck came to tow that stinkin’ car to the impound lot.  What could have been an even more stressful evening turned out to go quite smoothly- only 35 minutes had passed from the time that I first called them until the moment that I got in my car and headed home. Transportation and Parking Services is such a great resource! While I hope that you never have to call my new secret crushes to report a vehicle incident, here’s their phone number anyway: 614-292-2121. Write that down and stick it in your glove box!

HA! You can't MacGuyver your way out of this one!

2 thoughts on “The OSU parking lot is not a demolition derby…”

  1. that is…ridiculous. you are a better person that me…i woulda ******* this “alleged” goomba. his audacious attempt to clean up the scene by using wet wipes is mind-blowing. im glad their car was towed. and justice was servied, somewhat. good for you, kathleen.

  2. thanks, eric! when i told my boyfriend the story of what happened, he too could not believe that i didn’t stop this person from walking away. and the whole notion that you can wipe away paint and a dent with an alcohol-based wipe is beyond my understanding. but if i had successfully stopped them, i wouldn’t have gotten to see their unoccupied car towed away! guess it was quite a surprise when they left the building and saw that their car (and fake parking pass) were no longer there…

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