Does $30,000 a year include snow removal?

Apparently it does not. At least not today.

For the past ten years, I have been asking Santa Claus to bring the City of Columbus a snow plow and some rock salt. Santa is not real, though, and that is why we continue to plow our own paths on highways and side streets to school and work.

However, because it is great in so many ways, I expected more from our University. I thought the greatness would include safe and luxurious travel through the parking lots. Maybe they were cleared earlier today, but when I arrived to class at 3:00 this afternoon and left at 8:00, me and Hyundai played snow plow again, to and fro our $7,000 winter classes. So all I am asking is this:

Dear Santa Claus, or President Gordon Gee, could we please have a clear and salty parking lot this year?  Thank you!