Timeline: Monday, 10-ish
I see: an envelope
I hear: my coughing, thanks to the God-forsaken weather
I smell: “Be”, by Calvin Klein
I feel: nauseous
First, a short recollection of what has happened these past few days:
- Midterms. Veni, vidi, vici; that’s all I have to say about that (Julius Caesar and Forrest Gump together, who’d have thunk…).
- Community service, wherein I raked something around a million leaves. It was totally survivable, but I dislike community service. I was really ticked off that day just for being there, but it’s in the past (duh, isn’t everything??)
- Halloween party at Mozaik. Too many surgeons, but I think that everyone looked great. If you chose not to go to Mozaik or to JF’s place before that, you should really not be reading this. I personally had a BLAST, and I think many people did.
- The “bad” part of the party: I almost knocked over a cop (no intention of doing it, though) while leaving and for a second the cold feeling of cuffs made me shiver. Fortunately, he said “don’t apologize, it was my mistake” and I could be on my way.
And today we got our EPI midterms back, including the video recording. I must say that my respect for Prof. Ankerman’s job has seriously increased after seeing my video. Just today, he mentioned to us in class how he had to grade some 200 presentations last week, then adding the comment of how he was very pleased that this year the presentations were much better than any other (a theme that is becoming so common among the teachers that it’s starting to sound scripted).
I seriously look like a total retard in that video. I mean, you have to keep that away from any recruiting material there may be for the Fisher COB, because that’ll scare them off (or at least it should). I’m actually surprised the antivirus in my laptop didn’t go off when I pressed play. Now, I’m not saying that all my classmates look like retards in their videos, but I actually got a good grade on that midterm, so—well, whatever, you figure it out. I must say that I don’t have any problem with retarded people; I just would like not to look so much as one.
This, along with other experiences, has shown me that what the MBA is really teaching me is to have a new perspective on my life. This is a really good lesson on humility and submission. I used to believe that I was fortunate because I had received an excellent education, allowing me to have aspirations, dreams, and possibilities. I used to believe that my abilities allowed me to stand out and put me in an ideal position to help others.
Now I know I should be grateful I can remember my own name. Now I know that the question “are you aware I’m a danger to others?” is one I should ask myself and the people around me frequently. Now I know I was wrong.
The way I see it, it’s either that my life has truly lost all meaning and purpose, or it’s just that loneliness has finally caught up with me and I’m past the honeymoon stage of my coming here. One thing’s for certain: studying for midterms was nothing compared to coping with an empty house, a pile of due readings, a cooling weather, and a zero level of motivation.
It’s a good thing a friendly smile makes all that disappear at least for a moment. To the smiler: you asked not to be mentioned, but I owe you for that.
The takeaway: be grateful.
“You ready to die, motha(bleep)er?” – Petey Pablo