London Calling
VENI. VIDI. VICI. We came. We saw. We conquered!
Like Vladimir Putin standing shirtless atop a BM Oplot tank as it rolls its way through Crimea, Team France has officially unofficially invaded and subsequently annexed southern England as part of their rapidly expanding GAP empire.
From Parliament to Buckingham Palace, to the Tower of London to Picadilly Circus, no British landmark was left unclaimed – a sight that would surely move both Napoleon and President Alutto to each shed a single, glistening crimson and grey French tear.
Despite potentially reigniting centuries of Anglo/Franco conflict that had previously lain dormant for decades, they celebrated their conquests in the most fittingly French way possible: taking in a showing of Les Miserables with a glass of Bordeaux.
A salute to our London GAP compatriots, whom we shared a fantastic evening with along the Thames – we had a wonderful time with you, and regret being forced to make you the latest victims of the GAP Hunger Games!
- Commandant Dickson
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